Reasons
by FizzlePopBangGoesTheCoke
Summary: Everything happens for a reason, like our love.


"She's..." Gale looked heartbroken, "gone." I saw a glimmer of helplessness in his tough facade, and for some reason, I felt like it was my job to try and cheer him up.

"Don't start mourning her yet, she's not gone yet!" I exclaimed, feeling shocked that he would give up that easily, was she really that bad with a bow and arrow? I thought she was rather good! "Have faith..." I murmured softly, it was ironic, because I was already so close to loosing the little faith I had at that moment in time. He leant backwards onto the wall of the reaping square, where recently, Prim was reaped, and Katniss volunteered. All was quite for a while, serene and peaceful.

"Why didn't you volunteer?" Gale suddenly asked me, and for a second I wonder why, before I realised Gale was trying to pin the blame on me, as always.

"Why should I?" I asked back, frowning slightly.

"She was your friend!" He shouted, and I was taken aback by this newfound anger.

"And now you care for friends, I distinctly remember you saying that friends only bring you down and burden you," I mumbled, however he seemed to have picked it up.

"She was your friend and she actually cared for you, pity I can't say the same about you caring for her," He spat, then stalked off, hands in his pockets and scowling deeply.

Was I betraying Katniss as a friend?

Katniss didn't deserve that, neither did Prim. I didn't know Prim very well, but I knew she didn't deserve that, nobody, even the worst criminal in District 12, could have deserved that fate. I slowly leant back on the wall Gale was leaning on moments ago and wondered why. Why didn't I volunteer? Was it because I was scared? Think about how Prim felt, actually getting reaped, or Katniss, who knew she was going to volunteer. Of leaving my family? Katniss supported her family, think of how she felt, leaving her family with nobody to support and provide for them, even though Gale will. Or was I afraid that I would die, like aunt Maysilee? However, they'd probably hear a lot more stories of people getting killed in the games. Or maybe I was just being a wimp.

I guess I'll always be a 'rich girl' in people's eyes. I'll always be spoilt to them. Katniss looked over my status and talked to me, as herself, and to this day, I appreciate that gesture more than all the fake gestures from other people.

I was shoved forwards by a peacekeeper, "Come on, hurry up! Shouldn't you be celebrating right now?" I remember then, that there's an after party for anyone and everyone who got through the readings. But I didn't feel like celebrating, on the contrary, I felt like mourning, even though she wasn't dead yet. However, she was going against careers, which made Katniss as good as dead, even though she was quite good with a bow and arrow, the careers have been trained their whole life, which gives them quite te edge over Katniss.

I didn't answer, and stared up, at the downcast sky. It slowly started to rain, and it felt like even the gods were crying for the Everdeen's loss. Loss that I could have prevented if I hadn't been such a wimp. I was a wimp, running away from my problems, so I didn't have to deal with the consequences.

I wasn't paying attention to the peacekeeper, so he had left a while back. Leaving me alone with my relentless guilt. It all crashed down on me like a tidal wave, threatening to consume me. It's all my fault. My fault that they are suffering such hardships like this at their age. It was me who condemned them to that tragedy.

I slowly slid down the wall and placed my head in my hands. I was soaking wet, and my mothers old reaping dress was ruined. The wind tugged at my hair, howling, and the traditional bun my mother put my hair in fell out as well leaving my wet hair to lash at my face, making my eyes sting.

I finally allowed myself to cry, but I didn't just cry, no, I sobbed. My sobs racked my chest, making me shudder. I cried the hardest I had for years. I just let all the bottled up emotions out, for everything. For Katniss, my friend. For Prim, the friendly girl down at the hob. For their mum, the one who was still grieving for her husbands death. And even for Gale, who had no hunting partner.

I suddenly hear somebody clearing their throat, and I look up, not caring if I look like a total mess. It was probably one of the miners coming back for the mines. However, when is look up, I don't see a miner, I see Gale, drenched in water, yet smiling like he's won something.

"W-What are you doing here?" I asked, sniffling and rubbing at my face, trying to make it seem like I wasn't just crying.

"I was..." he paused, obviously thinking of a excuse, "I was l-"

"The truth?" I asked.

"Your father offered some money to the person who could bring you back. He didn't want you to get hypothermia" He muttered. I scowled. My own father doesn't even trust me!

I slowly stood up and started walking, and Gale fell into stride. "Why were you crying?" He asked after a while of silence. I didn't answer for a while, just kept on walking. I finally replied with a shaky:

"The what if's and what could have beens."

He replied with:

"It's in the past, now you can just move on."

I felt like that was his way of saying that he has moved on as well.


End file.
